Ugli Fruit

by Caren Martineau


inspired by Devorah Medwin

                                          a preamble...

I supposed after decades of living in a photoshop'd, sound byte culture, we're somewhat conditioned to accepting a disassembled, filtered reality. 

Ironically, the pretend reality of 2017 may be the alarm our aging population needs to come to grips with the consequences of photoshopping mortality.

Which brings me to an analogy Devorah Medwin made a few months ago when she said, Death is like the Ugli fruit.

(me)  Do you mean the unattractive exterior camouflages the reward inside? 

(her)  Well in essence, yes. You must realize, death became unspeakably ugly after our country experienced the numbing casualty of war(s). Since then, generation after generation has avoided talking about death because cultural norms believed the simple act of thinking about death harmed the subconscious. Out of sight, out of mind made dying unnatural, ugly.

We are a generation of boomers who have experienced that very silence. No matter how well intended, silence led to regrets, incompletions. We know avoiding end of life conversations makes going through it so much harder for everyone. 

Personally, it hasn't been easy working through the superficial ugly of death with my family. But I kept at it, and so should you. While death literacy won't photoshop away life's imperfections, or deliver immortality, there is an inexplicable transformation that happens. For me, it felt as if someone opened window to let the fresh sweet air of living rush in.