Alexandra Vassilaros
When grief tossed this prolific writer into an abyss of fragments and broken thoughts, she found shelter in language. Now she is helping others find their way out of crisis, loss, and grief.
Playwright, Pulitzer Prize finalist and founder of the Make Meaning Workshop
DM: What brought you to this subject?
I was deep in the crisis of my husband’s ending of life when a huge shift occurred within me. I needed a way to explore what others may be going through to find relief from the agonies of what we, as a family, were experiencing. It was during his treatment and worsening illness when I started volunteering at The Bowery Mission, began leading writing workshops for women in crisis— which included myself. That’s how the Make Meaning Workshop was born. My writing workshops are a tool, a way to orient oneself to heartache, loss, grief, disaster, and transition.
DM: What is the most important lesson workshop attendees take away?
That the tumultuousness of loss can yield so much grace, good will, and adventurous love.
DM: What is your current state of mind?
Fluctuating and changing. I really try to support being in the moment— not straying too far into the future and certainly not remaining devoted to the past.
DM: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being curious and alive to everything happening in the present moment. This is where so much is possible, especially love and opportunity for more love. That’s where I am now.
DM: Who are your favorite writers?
Certainly David Whyte, Walt Whitman, Mary Oliver, Eve Ensler, Gregory Orr, Richard Rohr. I recently read Grief Is The Thing With Feathers, a novel by Max Porter which was adapted for the stage— it’s something really extraordinary.
DM: What are you reading, what’s on your bedside table?
Oh dear, it’s more of a bedside shelf! Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind, I have a lot of Byron Katie on my table, Claudia Rankine, a beautiful book by Ocean Vuong On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, John O'Donohue’s books are all over the place, Sylvia Plath, and Ellen Pagels Why Religion?
DM: What is one thing about you that would surprise people?
I do a lot of imitations— it’s one of my favorite things to do! Also, I love a good joke, although I don’t think that would surprise anyone really.
DM: What book would you like to be buried with?
I’d really like to be buried with Song of Myself, the Walt Whitman poem.
DM: What is your exit plan? How would you like to die?
Surrounded by my kids, being kissed in the way they kissed their dad.
DM: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A tree. I love trees. It’s my little obsession. I photograph trees, tree vines and especially the roots. I took endless pictures of trees when John was passing.
DM: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Aretha Franklin and Greek Bouzouki music...Aretha has a great recording of hymns that is crazy beautiful. And Greek Bouzouki is just one of my great joys.